Being single again
Well, for those imaginary people out there that read my blog and don't already talk to me on a usual basis, the news for this post is that my on-and-off girlfriend of 3 years has broken up with me, and I'm guessing this time we won't be getting back together. I won't go into details as to what happened, not that I haven't already let EVERYONE know in person, but I'll just say that I didn't handle my first time as a dump-ee very well. I'm still not really over it, and I hope she's happy with this new guy, Matt. He seems pretty nice, they've already been on a few dates and stuff, and she seems to really like him, so I guess all I can do is be happy for her.
ANYWAY...
Something I've sorta wanted to do is make a list of reasons as to why it is, in fact, a GOOD thing that I'm single. Just to sort of make myself be more positive about the whole situation. I'm not gonna lie, I was, and still am at times, pretty devistated. All I can really do is give it time, but maybe this'll help.
REASONS WHY I'M GOING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT BEING DUMPED:
1. This isn't just better for me. It's better for all of the ladies out there who have been anxiously waiting for Laura to split the scene. And if you happen to be one of these babes, hold your horses. I'm not that shallow that I can just move on from Laura like that. I'll be holding auditions for the position of, "my woman" shortly.
2. Who doesn't want to be single? Single is like... the new black. Or however that phrase goes. I mean, c'mon, EVERYONE who is hooked up really WANTS to be single... I mean... even if that isn't true... I'm gonna run with it for the purposes of this article.
3. I am going to be saving a LOT of money. Not that I have ever minded spending money on people that I care about (friends, keep that in mind. I have a feeling I'm great to mooch off of) But still, this equation explains it.
Less girlfriend = less expenditure = gross income > net loss - (escrow + 5% APR) = more video games
4. I can do all of the things that being tied down by the wo'man did not allow for. Like, umm... all of the drinking I wanted to do? Too bad I already paid my commitment fee to stay in the Honors Complex after I got dumped, it's too late to get that apartment with all of the scantly clad females that they offered me... they said they'd cover my share of the rent, too. Something about me being irresistable, I dunno. Oh, and on a related note, I can't get yelled at for NOT doing things she wanted me to. Like when she'd get mad at me for not calling at 3:30 on the dot. I realize that it might be my fault if I happen to be in the middle of a lesson at that time, but no more of that.
5. IF anyone disliked my previous choice for girlfriend, well, I guess they're probably at least a little happy that I'm not hitched to her anymore. I remember my junior year when we first dated, I spent like all of my time with Laura, and all of my friends hated me for it. I can totally make it all up to them this summer... that is when I'm not working, etc.
6. I don't have to remember all of those important birthday and anniversary dates, like, uh... Sept...uary... twenty...two? I think that's when her b-day is... I know it sounds careless that I forgot so fast, but we've been learning about "Melody" in theory, which takes up a lot of space, and the place in my brain where I used to know that is now filled with information such as, "Pitches preceded by an accidental often function as chromatic tendancy tones, the accidental serving to create a half step between that tone and the next." Yeah.
7. No more fighting. Laura and I were and probably still are really stubborn, smart people, so we DID fight a lot. Not that I ever thought any less of her because of it, but I guess it's just a bit less stress that we'll both have to put up with. Thinking back, most of the fights were really pointless, like, her saying she didn't like someone or a political figure or something, and I would counter her point even if I didn't really know the facts very well, just because sometimes I found her to be overly negative about, oh, everything, and I didn't think it was really healthy for her to be so. Like most things I reflect back on, I went about it completely the wrong way, and I don't think it logically makes sense to argue with someone that you want to keep close to you. But I dunno. I make a terrible analyst of this sort of thing.
8. I can keep looking to find someone that works perfectly with me. I personally think Laura and I were an awesome match, but I mean, I can't really consider a girl that would dump me a week after I spent a ton of energy and money on her for Valentines day and told me that she wouldn't be breaking up with me any time soon a perfect match, now can I? Or someone who would tell me right to my face that the Loudonville High School production of The Music Man was terrible, just because I told her I disliked a play that she wasn't even involved in at all.
9. I'm hoping that maybe now that my heart has been utterly destroyed and that I've been dumped officially for the first time ever, maybe I can use it for motivation for self-improvement, which is something I have a disappointing lack of. I'd like to lose some weight, get more orgainzed school-wise, develop better social skills, be more outgoing, figure out what I'm doing for the rest of my life, and get at least half-decent at an instrument that's actually useful, like a guitar, a piano, or a banjo. Oh yeah. Scott's got the right idea, buying a ukulele.
10. In general, girls are sort of difficult to put up with. Which is really sad, because I think they're really cool. I'd say I'm downright attracted to them. But a majority of them do get awfully whiny at times, and not to mention moody. I guess that's also just a matter of finding the right match, though.
11. I don't have to put up with any annoying relatives or friends of hers. I liked her parents, even though I was always really nervous whenever I talked to her dad, especially because he is a pretty soft-spoken guy, and I couldn't understand her mom half the time, but her little brother was quite a handful. And she yelled at him a lot, which was kind of hard for me to take. I mean, he's only like 8, and besides, it's not her place to yell at her brother just because he wants to play a game with us.
12. I don't have to listen to The Killers. 'Nuff said.
13. I don't have to feel guilty for the breakup, because SHE dumped me, not vice-versa. I remember when I first broke up with her, I felt pretty terrible. I was crying, and it took me forever to tell her, because I was really emotionally attatched even when I knew we weren't going to work. She seems to be doing pretty well, though. I think she went about it the right way, getting a NEW boyfriend BEFORE you dump the old one. Can't beleive I didn't think of that one.
14. Umm... good blogging inspirational material? (I'm running out of ideas, but I want to stop on something nice and even, like 15. I know it's not even, but you know darn well what I mean)
15. Maybe we just weren't really meant to be. I mean, like I said, we've dated on and off and on and off and on and off again... and although I know a lot of relationships are like that and still end up okay in the end, what are the odds that the woman I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with would be in Loudonville? Slim to none, I'd think. It's only fair to her and me for us to get to see around, and heck, if we can't find anything better, then we'll know it was meant to be. Although, there's always the fear that this Matt guy is perfect for her and she's perfect for both him and me, but I'm not perfect for her. That's like having an extra puzzle piece for a puzzle that's a duplicate of one. You have to toss one, and it may as well be the one that doesn't fit as well. And even though someone out there is probably missing that piece from THEIR puzzle, what are the odds that they'll find it when you toss it in the trash? Once again, slim to none. but enough of that, this is supposed to have been a POSITIVE list.
Well, even though in my head, the negatives still outnumber the positives 10 to 1, I'm trying to make the best of it. I like to think I learned a lesson from all of this: when you first date a girl and you really like her and she's all you'll need, make her sign a binding contract that says she can't dump you. That way, even if things get bad, and she starts dating some other guy behind your back, and you fight a lot, you don't have to feel heartbroken like me because she has to still love you or you can sue the pants off of her for breach of contract. Man... why didn't I think of that before? Oh well, next time... next time...
So, yeah, I think writing this helped. I feel a lot better. Does that make me shallow or selfish or something? I don't know, but I feel like either way, I've gone through enough to deserve it. Plus, it was nice to have something I'm sort of energetic about to write about. I think this is the closest to my old writing style I've come to in a long while. But enough about me.
Ciao,
-Jimmy
ANYWAY...
Something I've sorta wanted to do is make a list of reasons as to why it is, in fact, a GOOD thing that I'm single. Just to sort of make myself be more positive about the whole situation. I'm not gonna lie, I was, and still am at times, pretty devistated. All I can really do is give it time, but maybe this'll help.
REASONS WHY I'M GOING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT BEING DUMPED:
1. This isn't just better for me. It's better for all of the ladies out there who have been anxiously waiting for Laura to split the scene. And if you happen to be one of these babes, hold your horses. I'm not that shallow that I can just move on from Laura like that. I'll be holding auditions for the position of, "my woman" shortly.
2. Who doesn't want to be single? Single is like... the new black. Or however that phrase goes. I mean, c'mon, EVERYONE who is hooked up really WANTS to be single... I mean... even if that isn't true... I'm gonna run with it for the purposes of this article.
3. I am going to be saving a LOT of money. Not that I have ever minded spending money on people that I care about (friends, keep that in mind. I have a feeling I'm great to mooch off of) But still, this equation explains it.
Less girlfriend = less expenditure = gross income > net loss - (escrow + 5% APR) = more video games
4. I can do all of the things that being tied down by the wo'man did not allow for. Like, umm... all of the drinking I wanted to do? Too bad I already paid my commitment fee to stay in the Honors Complex after I got dumped, it's too late to get that apartment with all of the scantly clad females that they offered me... they said they'd cover my share of the rent, too. Something about me being irresistable, I dunno. Oh, and on a related note, I can't get yelled at for NOT doing things she wanted me to. Like when she'd get mad at me for not calling at 3:30 on the dot. I realize that it might be my fault if I happen to be in the middle of a lesson at that time, but no more of that.
5. IF anyone disliked my previous choice for girlfriend, well, I guess they're probably at least a little happy that I'm not hitched to her anymore. I remember my junior year when we first dated, I spent like all of my time with Laura, and all of my friends hated me for it. I can totally make it all up to them this summer... that is when I'm not working, etc.
6. I don't have to remember all of those important birthday and anniversary dates, like, uh... Sept...uary... twenty...two? I think that's when her b-day is... I know it sounds careless that I forgot so fast, but we've been learning about "Melody" in theory, which takes up a lot of space, and the place in my brain where I used to know that is now filled with information such as, "Pitches preceded by an accidental often function as chromatic tendancy tones, the accidental serving to create a half step between that tone and the next." Yeah.
7. No more fighting. Laura and I were and probably still are really stubborn, smart people, so we DID fight a lot. Not that I ever thought any less of her because of it, but I guess it's just a bit less stress that we'll both have to put up with. Thinking back, most of the fights were really pointless, like, her saying she didn't like someone or a political figure or something, and I would counter her point even if I didn't really know the facts very well, just because sometimes I found her to be overly negative about, oh, everything, and I didn't think it was really healthy for her to be so. Like most things I reflect back on, I went about it completely the wrong way, and I don't think it logically makes sense to argue with someone that you want to keep close to you. But I dunno. I make a terrible analyst of this sort of thing.
8. I can keep looking to find someone that works perfectly with me. I personally think Laura and I were an awesome match, but I mean, I can't really consider a girl that would dump me a week after I spent a ton of energy and money on her for Valentines day and told me that she wouldn't be breaking up with me any time soon a perfect match, now can I? Or someone who would tell me right to my face that the Loudonville High School production of The Music Man was terrible, just because I told her I disliked a play that she wasn't even involved in at all.
9. I'm hoping that maybe now that my heart has been utterly destroyed and that I've been dumped officially for the first time ever, maybe I can use it for motivation for self-improvement, which is something I have a disappointing lack of. I'd like to lose some weight, get more orgainzed school-wise, develop better social skills, be more outgoing, figure out what I'm doing for the rest of my life, and get at least half-decent at an instrument that's actually useful, like a guitar, a piano, or a banjo. Oh yeah. Scott's got the right idea, buying a ukulele.
10. In general, girls are sort of difficult to put up with. Which is really sad, because I think they're really cool. I'd say I'm downright attracted to them. But a majority of them do get awfully whiny at times, and not to mention moody. I guess that's also just a matter of finding the right match, though.
11. I don't have to put up with any annoying relatives or friends of hers. I liked her parents, even though I was always really nervous whenever I talked to her dad, especially because he is a pretty soft-spoken guy, and I couldn't understand her mom half the time, but her little brother was quite a handful. And she yelled at him a lot, which was kind of hard for me to take. I mean, he's only like 8, and besides, it's not her place to yell at her brother just because he wants to play a game with us.
12. I don't have to listen to The Killers. 'Nuff said.
13. I don't have to feel guilty for the breakup, because SHE dumped me, not vice-versa. I remember when I first broke up with her, I felt pretty terrible. I was crying, and it took me forever to tell her, because I was really emotionally attatched even when I knew we weren't going to work. She seems to be doing pretty well, though. I think she went about it the right way, getting a NEW boyfriend BEFORE you dump the old one. Can't beleive I didn't think of that one.
14. Umm... good blogging inspirational material? (I'm running out of ideas, but I want to stop on something nice and even, like 15. I know it's not even, but you know darn well what I mean)
15. Maybe we just weren't really meant to be. I mean, like I said, we've dated on and off and on and off and on and off again... and although I know a lot of relationships are like that and still end up okay in the end, what are the odds that the woman I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with would be in Loudonville? Slim to none, I'd think. It's only fair to her and me for us to get to see around, and heck, if we can't find anything better, then we'll know it was meant to be. Although, there's always the fear that this Matt guy is perfect for her and she's perfect for both him and me, but I'm not perfect for her. That's like having an extra puzzle piece for a puzzle that's a duplicate of one. You have to toss one, and it may as well be the one that doesn't fit as well. And even though someone out there is probably missing that piece from THEIR puzzle, what are the odds that they'll find it when you toss it in the trash? Once again, slim to none. but enough of that, this is supposed to have been a POSITIVE list.
Well, even though in my head, the negatives still outnumber the positives 10 to 1, I'm trying to make the best of it. I like to think I learned a lesson from all of this: when you first date a girl and you really like her and she's all you'll need, make her sign a binding contract that says she can't dump you. That way, even if things get bad, and she starts dating some other guy behind your back, and you fight a lot, you don't have to feel heartbroken like me because she has to still love you or you can sue the pants off of her for breach of contract. Man... why didn't I think of that before? Oh well, next time... next time...
So, yeah, I think writing this helped. I feel a lot better. Does that make me shallow or selfish or something? I don't know, but I feel like either way, I've gone through enough to deserve it. Plus, it was nice to have something I'm sort of energetic about to write about. I think this is the closest to my old writing style I've come to in a long while. But enough about me.
Ciao,
-Jimmy
posted by Jimmy at 12:37 PM
15 Comments:
1. I never yelled at your for not calling me exactly when I told you to, just when you COMPLETELY FORGOT TO CALL. Or actually just played video games instead.
2. I always asked you when you were going to call, and you always gave the time, so if you said you were going to call during when you had a trombone lesson, that is because of your own idiocy (and horrible memory), and not mine.
3. The Music Man was terrible, this is why I said it was terrible, not because of something you said. However much you deserved it.
4. Yeah, you also don't have to put up with my dump of a house anymore, either. This is getting better and better.
5. My brother is 9, and I think that is old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. It is old enough to realize that he shouldn't be crying for every little thing I say. He should be old enough to find things to do on his own.
6. Finally,I don't appreciate you talking about my new relationship, it really isn't any business of your readers at all. That's my life, this is your blog. If they want to hear about my relationship, they can read my blog, not yours.
That is all.
I don't want to get involved at all, but as your friend, Jimmy, I must say that it was a good idea for you to write this list and get it off your chest...but probably not the best idea to make it possible for anyone to read all about your and Laura's relationship...but then again people really like to hear the gossip and whatnot so I'm sure they won't complain. But since people can read the comments and whatnot, I would suggest you two not allow yourselves to let people judge you like this.
Well. I totally don't know the entire story. But I would just like to say if you need to talk, or anything really, I'm a good listener. Or so I've been told. You know where to find me. :) I don't like to see people down in the dumps. So if you need anything....just remember that.
By the way, blogging does help. A lot. Why do you think I update mine like seven times a day? Heh.
The next time I see you, I'm going to give you a huge monstrous hug. You'll feel a lot better. :)
My puzzle piece could end up being in Loudonville after all!
I hate puzzles, No thanks to Gov't. Any and all puzzles.
I think that it's a good idea to look at the positive points of the breakup. I know how you feel Jimmy..we all go through breakups..it'll get better though and you will find someone perfect for you..even if you think Laura was..there's someone even more perfect.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jimmy, I must say that it takes an amount of courage, not to mention creativity, to publish such a personal entry. I will refrain from making any comments on relationships, except to say this. It may seem bad now, but the real question is "Who is missing out?" I think the answer is clear. The answer is all those scantily clad women. The good news is that they [those scantily clad women] will not be deprived any longer.
Ohkay...I can take a hint Jimmy...the mooching comment....so what if I do eat all your food when I'm over....it's good and I enjoy it! Oh, and I'm so happy with my ukulele purchase!!! Another thing....strip clubs...let's do it...don't tell Erin though...unless she reads this...then we're only joking sweety...but no...seriously Jimmy...strip clubs. Ummm....oh yeah...I enjoyed your entry very much and it was pretty. Let's go west! Tootles!
-Scott
Ok after reading that would it be completely cliche to say I love you! LoL that was great! cept the point about girls being whiny and moody... it might be try but O WELL! yea break ups suck butt! Mine right now is no exception! I feel kinda like you do cept he's going to come back... like last time, idiots got my heart and I hate that! O well! LoL call me some time mister! LoL yea the Loudenville puzzle is a VERY small one keep lookin kid!
Ok after reading that would it be completely cliche to say I love you! LoL that was great! cept the point about girls being whiny and moody... it might be try but O WELL! yea break ups suck butt! Mine right now is no exception! I feel kinda like you do cept he's going to come back... like last time, idiots got my heart and I hate that! O well! LoL call me some time mister! LoL yea the Loudenville puzzle is a VERY small one keep lookin kid!
I am so surprised that Laura said that The Music Man was terrible...I would have expected that she would have said it "sucked"...must be expanding her vocabulary! By the way...the other 1,000 people who saw it thought it was pretty darn good!
I feel ya Jimmy! After being dumped in November by the love of my life, I completely understand how you feel. I can relate to everything you said. So if you need someone to talk to give me a call. You should know my number, but if not it's on facebook!
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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