...And then, he crawled back up onto the face of the earth

Well, seeing as it's been, what, 2 or 3 years since I wrote a post, I figured I may as well do one now. I ended up reading over every single one of my previous posts (very nostalgic) and it put me in a really really good mood. It was then that I re-remembered my main purpose for starting this thing in the first place. Y'see, I'm a big memory-cherisher, and I remember starting this thing so that I could jot down anything I found paticularily important to me at the time, so that I could always just come back here and read up on it when it had eventually left my mind. A lot of times, it's easy for me to lose focus of that, when I concentrate on the fact that I have an audience (meager though it may be), not that that changes much. I honestly have to be in a very good mood to do any writing I find acceptable.

To be honest, I'd have to say that my mind's disagreement with being shoved into this unfamilliar place called college has definetly had an effect on all aspects of my personality, and in this instance, my writing. Unless I'm in a good mood, I seem to have trouble wording things in a way I really enjoy. As I was reading through all my past entries, I was really surprised to find certain little gems of wording or great ideas that I had forgotten. Surely, someone else had written these entries... my writing is not that creative. This made me happy, because I was actually, in a way, proud of myself for writing something that I enjoyed so much, but at the same time, I felt like my current writing skills are going down the drain. Kind of like how I often feel like I'm getting dumber already, hitting my peak intelligence at 16 or something... I don't know.

Anyway, I don't let it get to me. I've got plenty of other things already getting to me. I feel sort of bad about this whole college thing, because, quite honestly, I'm rather intimidated by everyone and even a lot of inanimate things here. I'm so accustomed to the small Loudonville feel, where I knew everyone, and always had someone around that I knew I could just shoot the breeze with and they'd be cool with it, or that would laugh at my dumb jokes. Here, you get ugly stares or, even worse, ignored in such an occasion, and it's rather depressing. I'll admit that most of the time, I probably give people permission to treat me the way they do, so to speak, but... I really just want to be a social guy who likes to joke around and meet poeple and at the same time, I don't want to seem overbearing or annoying to anyone. It's sort of causing an identity crisis of sorts, and it's like I'm telling myself I need to self-evaluate, but I don't know to do it.

Erm... I don't know if any of the above makes sense... it's sort of late... but I really wanted to post something, and even if it isn't acceptably coherent, I think it expresses my social frustrations here at Akron sufficiently. I should probably go to bed. I'm starting to confuse my thoughts more than I really enjoy. Ciao!

-Jimmy